Tags
Character traits in writing, heroes, London jewel theives, Shehanne Moore, Shopaholics, Splendor, The Starkadder Sisterhood, writing
Stillmore -Exist? You are looking at one.
Splendor. Don’t talk about yourself like that, darling.
Stillmore. I’m not talking about me.
Splendor. Well, I hope you are not talking about me. But to answer your question, dear little dudes.
Oh. I never let the question of being able to afford something worry me. No No. And you know Shehanne loosely based part of the story on Cinderella. You would make the most marvelous mice.
How edifying for you all. Well, the thing is there is no such thing as a shopping addiction. It is all quite easily explained. Clothes, fans, stockings, petticoats are things I have a notion of when I am unhappy. Also they are unhappy too. Why should something that nice, that beautiful, be made to feel neglected? Well?
Splendor. Sorry? Yes. Yes, of course. Well I have to buy things because if I hadn’t, for example bought a lot of these items I bought when I didn’t have the money to buy things, my friend Topaz, who is a member of the Starkadder Sisterhood–thieves, in other words– would have stolen these things for me. She is a kleptomaniac. Keeping her out of Newgate was of the utmost importance to me. It would have cost the state a fortune to hang or transport her. I saved them money. Just think of the service you are doing for others every time you treat yourself to something nice.
Splendor . Well, I did say she’s a kleptomaniac and as you can see Stillmore wasn’t too troubled. Sort of not anyway. Unlike her, you need to think of what you resist. The three pairs of cherry-patterned stockings I bought on one occasion might seem excessive. But not when set against the fact I never bought the silk chemise. I wanted to but I didn’t. It made me feel so much better that I had bought the stockings.
Splendor – and did I say it’s less to carry especially when you may feel you have over spent and your palms are sweating?
‘The white silk had been a necessity when he wanted her to accompany him to that supper party, the small, simple event given by some dear friend of Lady Kertouche’s.
Why he had insisted on attending when he never ate anything had not only been beyond her comprehension, it had been so far beyond her pocket that buckets of sweat glazed her palms just thinking about it.’
Splendor – Goodness yes. How many did we say? Well, I suppose Stillmore got a little excited about it on more than one occasion. My going out shopping that was.
Largely because HE didn’t understand that I was saving him money.
It is a principle I am sure many are familiar with.
Splendor . Well, not if he’s anything like Stillmore, although people will see you are trying to do something about it. You can also try buying things that are reduced because people don’t like the design, so these things you get for a snip. I got a very nice day dress that way once. Again, what was I doing but giving a good home to something unloved?
Now lastly? Lastly let’s say you have found yourself in the situation of spending over the odds, perhaps for three, of one thing. I mean serious odds here. Well you just go out and you buy another three of a far cheaper version. That way although your round total may be more……… per item it is less if you do the division and see the logic. So three hamsters at 30 pounds a piece would be 90 pounds. But if I then bought another three at 2 pounds each, bringing the total to 96–pounds, not hamsters– then divided the total by 6, well, that is only 16 pounds each, which is sure to be acceptable to everyone. And that is only 3 at two pounds, if you buy more at two pounds, you will bring the individual total down even more.
Now then hammies while it’s been very nice chewing the fat with you all. I really much dash. Madame Renare’s shuts at five you know and she has the most divine silk gloves in her window it would be a terrible crime to leave them there.
Extract ..after a certain night in a certain barn in a certain thunderstorm …..
Lady Kertouche’s velvet-gloved hand wavered in the direction of the he, looking even more diabolical than usual if that were possible, dark stubble dusting his jaw and upper lip, his eyes sunk so far beneath his brows she would need a team with pickaxes to excavate them. And she had thought he quite liked Lady Kertouche.
“If you mean the cat, do say so, Violetta,” he said.
“Oh, not at all, Kendall. I merely…well…”
Or was it because Babs Langley stood there? Babs Langley, who she would die rather than look stupid before. And he would too. It must be. Suddenly she saw it. He didn’t know what to do.
“Oh, it is not what it looks.” In that second Splendor’s voice came to her. In fact, more than her voice came to her, breaking the awful morass holding her in slimy paws. “No, I do not know how you can think anything amiss.”
“Oh, my dear, I was not thinking—“
“His Grace and I eloped.”
“What?”
Lady Kertouche’s exclamation was arrested by the tray dropping from the earl’s hand and clanging off the ground, along with Lady Kertouche’s dropping jaw.
“Yes.” Splendor could see what a mistake it was to continue, but there was also the matter of the parties, the balls and the outings. So she did it anyway. These would grind to an immediate halt if it was known she had spent the night with a man in a barn. Besides, he could thank her for her genius later, just as she had him to thank for the ten thousand pounds that would make her continuance in that glittering world possible. “We…well, you know how it is, I am sure. We just decided to avoid all the fuss and then… Then there was the storm. It was so awful, it forced us to stop for the night.”
If the expression darkening his features was anything to go by, being forced to stop wasn’t the only thing that was awful. The idea to take her by the throat and put a stop to her was plainly running through his disordered head. When she had dug him out of a hole? What was wrong with it for goodness’ sake? Give him a second or so, and he would surely see the value of her claim. How it would inflame Babs Langley.
Besides, they could deny it, couldn’t they, when all the fuss had died down, and they were all back in London? A joke, whatever. So there really was no need for him to appear quite so mummified.
“Eloped?” Lady Kertouche was so beside herself her eyes matched her mouth in the soup bowl stakes. “My stars. Kendall… You?”
He tilted his jaw. Sparks glinted in his eyes.
“But Kendall, you don’t like… I mean, since Marietta you have been a confirmed bachelor.”
“Well.” His smile was so saturnine, it would have skinned lemons at forty paces had there been any on that tray. “There is a first time for everything. Or so it seems.”
——————————————————————————————-
Zoolon said:
The hamsters could nick all sorts of stuff for her and store it in their cheek pouches?
shehannemoore said:
My goodness… Lord Zoo. This is a TIP!!! Yes x
Pingback: Interview with a Shopaholic. – The Militant Negro™
shehannemoore said:
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx as always Mr Militant. You are a special gent x
shehannemoore said:
Mr Militant xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx for the reblog. Interview with a Shopaholic. https://themilitantnegro.com/2017/08/28/interview-with-a-shopaholic/
Anne Clare said:
The little fellows had some excellent tips today… and it IS time for the change of season sales…think what I could save….
I enjoyed the excerpts from your book- Splendor sounds like QUITE a girl 🙂
shehannemoore said:
Lol Anne Clare, on the surface she is more scatty and amenable than any of my other heroines, but the latter is because she is steering this creaking, sinking tub in many ways and so focused always on sorting and managing everything, cos of her pillar to post upbringing. Underneath? Underneath she’s actually far harder. I just wanted to do something a bit different with her. I am so glad you embraced her thinking on sales. Just what I want to hear ! Personally it is a very sound concept. Thank you for this lovely kind comment. it makses my day to get a lovely comment like this xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Anne Clare said:
Aw, I’m glad 🙂 She really does sound like just the right leading lady for a good read!
shehannemoore said:
Aw Anne xxxxxxxx You’ve made my new day. It is nearly midnight after all. Seriously I am just glad you enjoyed the blog xxxx
nananoyz said:
Oh to have your splendid imagination!
shehannemoore said:
I really quite liked writing her. Cos she truly could not help herself. But listen YOU have a wonderful imagination and huge talent Leslie xxxxxxxxxxx
Smorgasbord - Variety is the Spice of Life. said:
I have made notes of all the excuses and will no doubt be using a number of them shortly… I love the idea of liberating unhappy merchandise.. terrific as always Shey.. hugs xxx
shehannemoore said:
Lol Sally… Splendor did it on a daily basis. She was always liberating things and while Madame Renare never actually appeared in the book I think you could imagine her laying out all sorts of things. There was one bit about a dress that had not sold that Splendor got for a snip cos no-one liked the sleeves… You are a darling Sally. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Smorgasbord - Variety is the Spice of Life. said:
My pleasure Shey.. I love a good snip myself and loved living in the States.. the seasons were so short, like six weeks and then the clothes you liked were in the discount malls.. heaven… xxxxxxxx
shehannemoore said:
Hee hee. I see she is preaching to the converted xxxxxxxx
paulandruss said:
Great fun interview with this Princess of Thrift – who’d a thought it… the more you buy the more money you save….and if you steal you save even more! The great extract really whetted my appetite for Splendour…. next on my reading list! COOL!
shehannemoore said:
Paul, lovely to see you. Need to mail you for a blether. Splendor”s view of the world is slightly skewered. You are a darling re the extract! I chose one that did not mention her little habits. At least her spending and running up bills habits. her managing everything now???
Christy B said:
The hamstahs are priceless so the shopaholic wouldn’t be able to use them as currency! They’re safe… for now, bwahahaha 😉 You’re so creative, Shey! I never know how you come up with these posts!! Love you xo
shehannemoore said:
You are the princess of creativity my honey! Seriously. I was meaning to do an interview with Splendor when the book came out. I was just up to it with Mr’s play. And obvi when I was thinking about it, I thought she should demonstrate her shopaholic tips being as she can’t help herself.We should be glad she couldn’t add the dudes to her account. (Or maybe we should just give her the money to take them away?) Love you too Christy. You take care xxxxx
mikesteeden said:
A world record, no less. It was a struggle I must admit. I hung in there following the mention of ‘boddice’, stayed as calm as I possibly could when ‘stockings’ were talked of, even escaped unscathed at ‘petticoats’…good fortune smiled and saved my mortal soul at ‘skinned lemons’. All is well once more, Ms S.
shehannemoore said:
I knew fine you would be struggling with stockings, peignoirs…. petticoats… etc. But she did buy a fan so you could borrow it. Lovely to see you Mike. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
mikesteeden said:
A super post, Ms S. ‘Twas like being at the cinema.
shehannemoore said:
LOl Mike you flatterer you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx (Mind you I suppose it depends on the film. x)
thecontentedcrafter said:
I’m so flattered that you based your heroines thinking on mine Shey. I can’t tell you the money I have saved by purchasing more for less over the years. Malice is here. I opened the book, flicked to the first page to see what was there and resurfaced half an hour later ……. hooked!
shehannemoore said:
My darling, I would do nothing less than base my heroine’s thinking on yours since it is absolutely sound AND right thinking. The money we save by spending money is something else. You have totally made my day with your comment. Malice’s thing is shoes of course, things we cannot possibly identify with… I am thrilled you are hooked and I am thrilled she is with you. xxxxxxxxxx
Kate Furnivall said:
Oh, how I loved Splendour – a brilliant ballsy heroine who comes out with fists swinging and stands for no nonsense from Kendall. Great fun post, Shey! Tell BB that I am knitting a matching green hat in readiness.
shehannemoore said:
Kate…. I think I need to up my bribery payment to you. I was saying to Christy I should do a series here from this book. maybe another one could be interview with the taking Kendall in abouter. xxxxxxx
Kate Furnivall said:
I’ll keep it under my hat, BB! x
shehannemoore said:
Jest what AH likes tah hear
Lobe Bobby B
shehannemoore said:
Dearest Kate
jest doan’ show it tah this them there wench. She will want it.
Love
Bobby Bub.
shehannemoore said:
Bizmarc xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx for this
Interview with a Shopaholic. | shehanne moore https://bizmarc.wordpress.com/2017/08/28/interview-with-a-shopaholic-shehanne-moore/ via @EslarnerZeitung
Sparkling Dawn said:
Have always enjoyed spending money on something I really want, when I don’t have the money to spend, the purchase is just so delightful and very much guilt free.
“would skin lemons at 40 paces…” I love that!
Loving the hamster hats 😍 xxx
shehannemoore said:
Lol… I nick-named Stillmore the feral earl cos in many ways he is. Aye scowling and bad tempered….but then again, what that masks… and why…. means he’s really nothing like he makes out and the poor thing has such a terror of matrimony, I searched for a phrase to sum up his delight at what she’d just said …. My darling we must all spend on things we can’t afford. and really it takes care of itself doesn’t it!!! .
Sparkling Dawn said:
He’s not the only man with a fear of matrimony 🙂 or woman perhaps too. Love the whole ethos behind the masked feral earl; we all have a story and all that xxx
shehannemoore said:
AW…..he was married before to an older woman and he had to marry her largely to save his family who had been ruined when his father ran off with a serving girl. But he totally fell for this woman and it was a disaster. She went with anything and he was so badly burned by her that he gets cold sweats thinking that dreaded word ‘marriage.’ But of course the truth of what went on and how even the daughter he thought was is, isn’t, are things he hides because he hates to look a fool. He prefers that everyone thinks he is awful and hard hearted etc. I think we can all have a story something like that x
Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, MCC, SCAC said:
One simply MUST have hats! I could sit on my hands and avoid the rest (mostly), but an unloved hat simply must be taken in and given a home where it will be appreciated, whatever it takes. And if it is a bit tattered, so what? Add a few flowers and a bit of netting and it’s *better* than new.
Did you consult with Debby for some of these tips? That woman can shop!
Loved the post, Shey, and now I can’t wait to love the book. Tink sends a shout-out to the Dudes. He’s not much bigger than they are, but if they need help defending their hats he’ll bark his little head off to distract the bugger while the Dudes gang up to do their worst.
xx,
mgh
(Madelyn Griffith-Haynie – ADDandSoMuchMORE dot com)
ADD/EFD Coach Training Field founder; ADD Coaching co-founder
“It takes a village to educate a world!”
shehannemoore said:
Hee hee…we should all give homes to things, the Earl who does give a home to Splendor at one point when she has no roof over her head , should understand this far better than he does. I didn’t consult with Debby though she is a dude fav. No these are all points Splendor makes in the book. I didn’t realise it was so many–lol– till I started to go through them for this post. You are so sweet Madelyn I send you big hugs and hugs from les dudes to you and to Tink. Take care xxxxx
Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, MCC, SCAC said:
Anyone who walks into my apartment would swear that I *have* given all things a home – lol. I related too-too well to Splendor’s “math” approach to savings.
Only YOU could come up with a protagonist who is a shopaholic from another era! So clever.
xx,
mgh
shehannemoore said:
Lol. Love it. For many years my hubby gave a home to books that no-one wanted. So much so that eventually we had 3000. I used to sometimes put them out with the paper collection to keep the numbers down and I may yet tell the story of the time I did that and as we drove home that night and turned into our street saw that the papers had not been uplifted that day, so there , in front of our house was this pile of old books…
We have 1000 now having moved. We have many other things I have given a home to. I see you have too. I do think that is important. I just reckoned that people cannot have changed THAT much in terms of other eras xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
reocochran said:
Hi there my marvelous Shey! 👸 👑
🌹👠👠 🌹
Guess what?
Tomorrow is Tuesday August 29, immediately heading for bed but there is a
New Book Review coming out on my blog. If you have the little guy there and are in charge,
Hope you can perhaps “man the fort” or check on the comments since Tuesday is like every
Workday, my cellphone stays in my locker so I don’t get a point for being in trouble.
I get points for putting the wrong product in totes, too. Alas, my mind wanders off
To the age of Vikings !! Sexy Sinnar and lovely Lady Malice who most certainly is not
a courtesan!!
I loved this Splendor post! Yes to hats, gloves, shoes and jewels!!
I gave your book a five diamonds review. 💎💎💎💎💎 Of five! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
shehannemoore said:
YES!!!!! You are a darling. My day is made and it has just begun. I will be ‘write’ over my darling and I will check the comments. I will also post it here later this week. xxxxxxxxxx hee he.. Will interrupt the Interviews with various book characters to do it xxxxxxx Thank you THANK you xxxxxxx
reocochran said:
You didn’t have to cancel the character interviews, Shey! You can reblog this anytime. I’m so glad you enjoyed the post and photo, dear. I may not put this rascals baby hamstah’s on just yet. I am really happy we had so much fun. Hope more visitors tomorrow. . . Relax and cheers! 🍷🍷 🍻
shehannemoore said:
I will be well reblogging this soon my darling. It will give the dudes lots to moan about xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx (Ps We do have fun xxxxx)
smilecalm said:
oh, to have
such joyful
shopping assistants 🙂
shehannemoore said:
Yes. The world should embrace them Then we’d spend even more xcxxx
catcavendish said:
Could it be the hammies are learning about economising? I mean, the advice to look for money off coupons is surely a new concept for them. And an excellent one to embrace. Clever little dudes. Splendor’s good fun too!
shehannemoore said:
They would eat the coupons Cat, that could be a problem. Here’s me just getting round to some promo on this book. Just been too hectic. But I think she and the dudes got along all right. Sort of anyway. Lovely to see you xxxxxxx
shehannemoore said:
Bizmarc xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx for the reblog
Interview with a Shopaholic. | shehanne moore https://bizmarc.wordpress.com/2017/08/30/interview-with-a-shopaholic-shehanne-moore-2/ via @EslarnerZeitung
robbiesinspiration said:
A really great interview, Shey. I love reading about people’s shopping habits especially if they love clothes like my Mother or boots like me. If the boots fit, buy them in every colour. Splendor sounds like our kind of woman.
shehannemoore said:
She is quite the manager Robbie, of everything except money and her dressmaking bills…… xxx .
dgkaye said:
The dudes are looking smart in their new hats. And when I saw Shopaholeeec, I was hooked. My fav pastime. Seems Splendor and me have a lot in common, and I do love to justify too by finding a good sale! Loved this! 🙂 xxxxxxxx
shehannemoore said:
Yep I was told by Sally that you must have given Splendor your tips. I said no, not on this occasion. LOL. It’s just her. I wanted to ex[lore someone who having sailed right up against the wind ,okay largely through her father’s fault, repeated all his mistakes, cos I think we do that sometimes. She can see the shadow of the debtor’s prison but it does not stop her going into a shop and running up bills. Thrilled you liked xxxxxxxxx
dgkaye said:
Lol that is so funny. Sad that Sally knows me so well LOLLLLLLLLL. Poor Splendor, too bad they didn’t have shopolics anonymous back then. Too funny! 🙂 xxxxxxxxx
shehannemoore said:
Sally does know you too well. And I had this mad vision of you in your dark glasses and killer boots with armloads of shopping bags and Splendor running up the wad of bills that at one stage Stillmore goes tits at her about. xxxx
Aquileana said:
Splendor… Well that name certainly fits her… I can totally see her as a shopaholic… Cruising all around the malls… Yes… A lovely, fun post She. ((Come to check out my new one when you have time… Just telling you cause I was off for a long time since my last one, kkk!?. ) Sending all my best wishes! 😉 xx
shehannemoore said:
|Lol…her name is actually Dora but that was way too plain for her, so she changed it. I wanted to have a bit of fun cos she spends the book running up debt. I was over at your wonderful blog earlier. I would never miss a post of yours. I actually saw it last night but it was late, so I bookmarked it cos I knew it would be a real treat and it was xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Aquileana said:
I like Splendor better 😀 Splendor is not only splendorous but glamorous 🙂 Fits her perfectly… Dear She: thank you very much for you words. You have no idea how much they mean to me, truly!. Hugs xx
shehannemoore said:
Oh you have no idea what your words mean to me. I love reading your posts, I always learn things I don’t know about the gods and goddesses and your new one was what we might call a cracker that way. xxxxxxx
PS Glad you like Splendor as a name better. She loathes the drabness of Dora and the fact the jewel thieves called her Dora-Do-It-All and Taterella because she was their skivvy.
pjlazos said:
I’m not a shopaholic, but I do love the hamster dudes. oxo
shehannemoore said:
Oh Splendor’s NOT a shopaholic, oh gracious no. She’s just someone whose passion for nice things, is misunderstood…… xxxxx
PS. She is also someone you seriously should NOT go shopping with.
shehannemoore said:
Di Erste xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx for the reblog
Interview with a Shopaholic. https://bizmarc.wordpress.com/2017/09/01/interview-with-a-shopaholic/ via @EslarnerZeitung
Carolee Croft said:
Splendor is so good at handling the hamster dudes, and providing a master class on how to be a shopaholic. I can’t really blame her, I love those historical outfits!
She was very kind to Topaz, despite the latter’s kleptomania. That’s what I liked about Splendor, despite all her troubles, enough to make anyone bitter, she has a heart of gold.
shehannemoore said:
Aw Carolee, that is a comment of gold. Seriously xxxx She was a bit diff from my other heroines xxxxxx
Ps in some ways x
shehannemoore said:
Die erste xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx for this
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jeanleesworld said:
As one who is married to a shopaholic endeavoring to not be a shopaholic, I find this perspective amusing…and a touch freaky in its truth. Bo hates the idea of movies being lost to the void and never seen. Soooooo we have well over a 1000 movies in our basement. He hasn’t even seen them all. He just wants them *there.* Sounds like he’d get along very well with Splendor….
shehannemoore said:
LOL Jean that is brilliant. My Mr gives a home to old books. You have no idea the trouble I had to get him to bin Teach Yourself Norwegian and How To Grow Your Own Roses ( Was this as opposed to someone else’s… ). when we moved 3 years ago. I used to quietly keep the numbers down by putting them out with the newspaper collection till the night we were driving home and I saw as we passed along the local streets that the papers hadn’t been picked up that day….. And after wracking my brains thinking now what, I leapt spectacularly from the car as we rounded our corner–I was 8 months pregnant so I had a good excuse, scooped up the books in my big coat and belted into the downstairs loo with them, managing to stuff them in the cupboard there. I think Splendor would get along with any shopaholic. Glad you got a laugh at her perspective. x
jeanleesworld said:
LOL! I can only imagine you, swollen with child, swooping in for books. Marvelous! And I did get quite a laugh. Ah, poor Stillmore, I do sympathize with him… 😉
shehannemoore said:
Tell yah this, it was one of my epic moments where I did NOT know what to do and like Splendor had buckets of sweat glazing my palms just thinking about it, then as the car rounded the corner, it came to me. I had this too big coat on someone had given me and we were so poor at that point I could not afford a coat so I was wearing it, but the hell for once I was glad of it. I guess it was hysterical really. Stillmore..well he watches his money you know because of his father’s indiscretions really, so yeah you can imagine he does go titz several times, especially the scene where he stomps with this mountain of bills, demanding an explanation and she just thinks, it is perfectly obvious what these are now she is back in credit with Madam Renare and why shouldn’t she as his wife…not even in name, nothing to do with him really, just not have a few things, make a show. (Sell these things later when the 3 months pretend is up.)
inesephoto said:
Ah I cannot wait. Loved the first book. Best of luck in May! xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
shehannemoore said:
best of to you Inese. The dudes will be interviewing Topaz later today. She is a kleptomaniac pure and simple. here’s hoping she steals them!!
inesephoto said:
You better watch out. After the world domination you want to be in their good books 😉
shehannemoore said:
I never thought of that!! But they are fairly simple creatures….. x