No Tink…come on.
Yeah, do shut up. Firstly, after showing off this.
from the lovely Aquileana. http://aquileana.wordpress.com/ a most amazing classical blogger,…
No. Actually, I haven’t forgotten. Fridays are girl day. We get enough of les guys the other days. Fridays is when we wonder about them. But two things……
AND an award, it’s like the ten rules have become ten nominees. More later.
So? What’s it like dating a pirate? Can we expect a lot of ‘Arrrrr’s’, him to sling his hook, shiver his timbers? Well come on? How do you know you are dating one? Who is better to answer these questions than my heroine, Lady Fury of the Unraveling of Lady Fury. (We won’t ask how she unraveled. I don’t know about you but I like being in one piece.)
Shey. So Fury…
Lady Fury. Now Shehanne, you know that’s Lady Fury to you.
Shey. Not really. Aren’t you a brothel keeper’s daughter after all?
Stay right where you are Tink. After all I wrote this woman. SO. Dating a pirate? Is this something you would recommend at the…say…online dating?
Lady Fury. Providing they can fill out the form you mean? Or is it advisable to stay away from these profiles that say?
Shey. Either. Unless you can give us some advice on speed dating?
Lady Fury. Oh a pirate is very good at that. Usually because they have the law on them. SO if a gentleman arrives at a table wearing a cutlass, expect him to vanish like snow off a hot stove. Either that or start swinging from the chandeliers. Although equally, that could mean they are a hamster.
Shey. So talking cutlasses, is this how you would know you are dating a pirate?
Lady Fury. Well it can be difficult in an embrace to differentiate between certain things BUT. Indeed certain things do hold true. I mean firemen, for example, sport other tiresome things.
Shey. So Fury, I think we’ve got how you would know you’re dating a pirate as opposed to a fireman, or indeed a hamster.
Enough. This isn’t about you. This is serious. What can we expect on that first pirate date?
Lady Fury. Something that involves something long and hard and wet.
Oh, for goodness sake, of course I am meaning the plank, a bit of walking and the sea. So do take your waterproofs along, no matter how unseemly they make you appear. Of course this is just if you disagree with them and won’t tell them what they want to know. I imagine if you do they are probably quite nice and amenable, I was just unlucky that way. Shey. Hmmm.
But you would recommend it?
I mean come on Fury, you regularly get into fights with Anne Lange and Aimee Duffy over on your blog over Flint. Then there was the biz of you going titz at Catherine Cavendish for making eyes, so they must be.
Lady Fury. Oh very well. A deserted cove. The sun bearing down. Warm sand. Fish frying on the spit. I suppose some dates can be very nice.
Shey. So any tips? What are the do’s and don’ts of dating a pirate.
Lady Fury. How long is a hamster’s tail? Oh very well. Don’t pretend to be things you’re not. Pirates get very stroppy about that. And don’t expect them to be pushovers, dress up nicely, leave their treasure alone, or have any table manners, although equally some may fuss if you drop a crumb on their cabin floor. .
You may be keel-hauled for such a crime. A few pieces of paper on the floor for goodness sake. Ones that just happened to be …torn. Because……..
All right, torn…because they had a little accident. Sort of. As did he on the end of them. Pirates have rules. And really these rules are the main problem of dating a pirate
I don’t know what you mean. The do’s of dating a pirate are like this….a sexy one will mess with your head and even worse, you might end up loving them forever. And then you would be in trouble when they leave devastation in their wake.
Now we swapped ten rules on sex for ten versatile bloggers.
Shey. Did we?
Lady Fury. I must say the lovely Aquileana’s blog about the Greek myths is quite a blog.
Whatever I say about her and she says about me, Shehanne has been kind enough –finally–to let me choose the ten bloggers who are versatile in terms of their blog.
All they need do is display the logo, link back to the blog who nominated them and choose the ten. Why, they make my rules look like a piece of cake..NOT. So here we go….
Noelle Clark…Not only a wonderful writer, her blog http://t.co/f36t0xR1dx is always fascinating. And her interviews are legendary
Incy Black….She’s the same. Oh…and always has some great posting ideas. http://t.co/v1k7uIXzM7
Catherine Cavendish …When it comes to horror she’s in the tradition of the old masters! And her blog is always one hell of a read! http://t.co/NekQqtJiEc
Carol Balawyder http://carolbalawyder.com/ An amazing writer, her short stories are a treat. Carol also loves to blog some real blasts from the past when it comes to other authors.
Veronica Haidar http://veronicahaidar.wordpress.com/ I just love this lady’s posts, the ones she writes when she’s not tapping away on that typewriter of hers! Although when she types, she types great pieces.
Jane Hunt http://t.co/qWAtN94xTV Lovely Jane doesn’t just write fabulous books she is amazingly supportive of other authors and her blog reflects this.
Rachel Carrera http://rachelcarrera.wordpress.com/ When she rants she rants, when she’s funny, she’s funny. Either way she’s brill and her interviews are amazing. As is her writing.
Sharon Struth http://t.co/fwHWRlJXmk Her second book Sharing the Moon is due out soon…She will be appearing here. So not only is she some writer her blog always has great posts.
CeeLee. Come swim in the adult pool with the lovely CeeLee, an amazing, funny blogger who is also an amazing writer. http://swimintheadultpool.com/author/shaydesofceelee/ I just know this girl is gonna make it soon.
Harliqueen or Mishka Jenkins, a talente4d new author, http://awriterslifeformeblog.wordpress.com/2014/07/11/and-im-feeling-good/ of 3 books , with more on the way. Miskka blogs her writing journey.
Susana Ellis http://t.co/1hrfAD9n her parlor is quite the place to be if you want to know the Regency world. She’s also one talented writer of that world.
OOPS. Did I miscount that? It was meant to be 10. Well, you know me on rules.
Lady Fury is a brothel/innkeeper’s daughter and premiere blackmailer from Jamaica. Privateer Captain James Flint Blackmoore has called her a ‘goddamn bitch’ , her maid, Susan, who refers to her as Madam, has often lamented her inability to do a thing she’s told. Comfort and Joy author, Charley Descoteaux has talked of her refusal to have anything below the upper hand. While Tempted by Trouble author Susan Arden puts it more succinctly when she says, ‘Fury…oh dear what a woman. The perfect heroine who wants the impossible.
She wants it all but refuses to admit it.’
Fury spent years married to Thomas where she was a much abused wife. Because she eventually had enough of him, he met with an accident and she was forced to find someone else to sire the Beaumont heir.
The Duke of Malmesbury, Count Vellagio and Earl of Southey were the main contenders.
But that’s not how it turned out and it would be spoiling things to tell you how it did.
Fury has lived all over the Caribbean and in Genoa in Italy and, now she is again on the run, anywhere at all.
Fury loves shoes, clothes, perfumes, and a certain man. Not necessarily in that order.