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Ken : – In 1942 Annie’s grandson is in the North African desert. Near a place called El Alamein. He’s never been abroad before… (Exit put on Churchill hat.)

Em : – … unless you count a summer holiday to the seaside…at Broughty Ferry! Now in the North African Desert  Boab’s future career plans don’t involve jute. ( Three WW2 soldiers kick  ball.)

Boab : – What a goal! When the war’s ower I’m gonna be a professional – I’m no goin back to work in a mull an deh afore meh time like meh granny.

Tam : – Deh afore yir time? Yir in a war!

Boab : – Hope an faith! Besides jute’s on the wey oot.

(Kick the ball again. Enter Officer.)

Officer : – (Bellowing) Get that ball away and get fell in. On parade now!

Boab : What’s this aboot, Sir?

Officer : Yours not to reason why soldier!

( Churchill enters.)

Officer : – The men are ready for your inspection now Prime Minister (Churchill stops to speak to Dan )

Churchill : – Where are you from soldier?

Dan : – Dundee! (Churchill shudders and turns to Tam)

Churchill : – Where are you from soldier?

Tam: – Dundee!

(Dan walks round Tam so he is next in line.)

Churchill : – Where are you from soldier?

Dan : – (Cheeky.) Dundee.

(Tam walks round Dan.)

Churchill : – (Horrified) Where are you from soldier?

Tam – Dundee…..

Churchill : – (To Boab.) Where are you from soldier?

Boab : – Dundee. Got flung oot o’ the mulls– but you got flung oot o’ the toon!

(Exit horrified Churchill.)

Officer : – It’s the guardroom for you soldier! OOT. (Exit. Dragging.)

Em : – Bob, from a heckling tradition was sentenced to fourteen days in a military jail for insulting the Great War Lord and the leader of the Nation. Bob never became a professional footballer but…he had a story to tell his grandchildren. (End of scene. Song. ‘If Dundee Was Africa’)


Playing Space

Shey’s guidebook and bag

The Indian servants get ready to deal with the jute wallah. Today Shey’s the only one here handing all the props to herself.

Our stage and property manager takes a permanent break from acting by joining the management instead.


The back o’ Shey’s book



The official tour guide takes charge

Our sound guy from last year smiles with relief that this year he’s got a gig elsewhere

As we set up for the Indian rammy, it looks friendly


Get up the road ye young ****** ……

An American visitor is selfie daft where the official guide, Ken the Irish famine contingent  and the Dundee jute workers are  concerned.

Shey struts it as  a singing suffragette, belting out Vote, Vote, Vote for Neddy Scrymgeour. Broad Dundee words BUT with a post accent….

one of the new crop of placards after  a few of last year’s bloopers….