https://cookandenjoyrecipes.wordpress.com/2017/09/03/guest-20-cookingn-books/
Topaz…. Whot me? Why would I do that? I ain’t no bleedin’ thief. I’m a kleptomaniac.
Topaz…Someone whot steals pure’n simple, cos they can’t help it, see?
Topaz. Sez who? Course it ain’t. I’ve sworn off nickin’. It’s just that nickin’ ain’t sworn off me. See it’s like Splendor’n shoppin’. I gets a thrill so I does it even when she tells me ter stop cos there’s posters up everywhere and it ain’t exactly her face whot’s on ’em either. I does it no matter whot. Topaz . To my shame, I admits, I even robbed Splen’s squeeze Kenny. Fine gentleman ‘e was an’ so koind, nuffin’ loike she said. Puttin me hand in ‘is pocket was a real thrill I tells yer. Wouldn’t ‘ave ‘alf moinded puttin’ it in more. Then there was the brandy ‘e puts in ‘is mornin’ coffee. Figured I was doin’ ‘im a favour there. Wouldn’t loike ter see ‘im droppin’ down wif some disease cos ‘he stuffs ‘is face wif booze steadah food first thing in the mornin’ now, would yer? She went titz about it, cos he went titz wif her, but given that business of her runnin’ up debts ter keep me out of Newgate, I looked on it as my altruistic duty ter return the compliment.
Topaz. That depends doan’ it? I means if I can steal ‘un now, get the ingredients an’ whot not. I might.
Topaz . Death.
Topaz. You ain’t pretty enough. Nah, the moon is whot I’m after.
https://shehannemoore.wordpress.com/the-starkadder-sisterhood-london-jewel-thieves/
https://shehannemoore.wordpress.com/sundries/the-starkadder-sisters-jewel-thief-quiz/
Extract…….a sort or rapid downturn in Splendor’s fortunes extract.
“When all’s said and done, it beats old woman Hanney’s. Beats sittin’ in this wreck, now Gabe’s gone and left us flat. Unless you want me going back ter stealing? I mean I could, I suppose.”
As Topaz studied the rotting fence posts at the sides of the ditch, as if they were next for pocketing, Splendor fought to bite her tongue. Topaz had never stopped.
“I take it when you use that word wreck, yor meaning some other vehicle an’ not Clitherow’s fine lookin’ trap.” O’Taggart clicked his tongue.
“Long as I ain’t meanin’ yer damned, bleedin’ trap, what does it bleedin’ matter?”
Splendor smothered a shriek as O’Taggart brought the whip down on the nag’s back as if he wished it were Topaz’s. The jolt sent them both flying upward, then down onto the wooden plank, straddling the cart.
“That’s it. That’s it, me old cuddy. Take yor time, me faithful nag, and you’ll soon get there.”
“It’s taken three hours to travel two miles,” Stillmore growled, nudging his black gelding closer. “Do you think you could possibly hurry it along? I should like to be at Catterton House sometime this week if that’s not a trouble to you.”
“You are not the only one, sor. But Clitherow will only do as Clitherow can do. She doesn’t take kindly to complaints.”
“That’s a pity when the list is ten yards long.”
“And Oih must say, Oih don’t either.”
“Then that makes two of us. Three if that blasted nag doesn’t fall down dead
first.”
“Pity ’e wouldn’t do the bleedin’ same.” Topaz smoothed her cape shut. “’Ow
rich would that make yer?”
“If I had married him. But I didn’t.”
“So ’ow the bleedin’ hell does he think ’e can get the divorce courts ter agree ter a divorce then? Commit ’igh treason?”
Somehow Splendor managed to cinch her lips.
“If I agree, he’s going to say the parson was not ordained.”
“Thing is, I don’t know why yer agreed.”
She didn’t answer, and Topaz continued. “Look, we got ’is watch, we could pawn it. There’s plenty more where that come from.”
“And that’s the problem. If you’d left it where it came from…” She lowered her voice. Horses had ears. Their masters too.
“But it were pretty.”
“Will you stop it?”
Pray God, Stillmore took her screech as one of agony as the cart lurched over another stone, almost catapulting her onto the floor. In truth, she felt like screeching, screeching to the high heavens. What was it Papa always said, especially during these first days in the Marshalsea? Nothing is ever so far beyond your reach, you should worry about it.
“And I still don’t see why yer agreed ter it,” Topaz whispered.
“I told you I never agreed straight off. All right?”
She was not going to tell Topaz about the business with Lady Kertouche. She’d sooner cut off her hand. Papa had said that too. Just tell people as much as they need to hear and will make you feel better. She sighed.
“But if you must know it was because I didn’t see how the bloody hell else I was to get you out of there with your picture all over the walls.”
……………………………………………………………………………………………….
The only thing he hates more than losing at chess is marriage…
For Splendor, former servant to the London’s premiere jewel thieves, pretending to be someone else is all in a day’s work. So when she learns of a chess tournament—a men’s chess tournament—with a ten thousand pound prize, pretending to be a man is the obvious move. The money will be enough to set her fiancé up in his own business so they can finally marry, and more importantly, it’ll pay off her bills and keep her out of debtor’s prison. But she doesn’t plan on her opponent, the rakish Kendall Winterborne, Earl Stillmore, being a sore loser—and a drunken one, at that. But before she can collect her prize, she finds herself facing the most merciless man in London across a pair of dueling pistols at dawn. Chess may be Splendor’s game, but she’s never fired a pistol. And dressed as a man with ill-fitting shoes on the slippery grass and borrowed glasses that make it hard to see, she’s certain she’s finally tipped her own king.
Bitter divorcee Kendall Winterborne, Earl Stillmore, is the ton’s most ruthless heartbreaker. And he’s got three pet peeves: kitchen maids, marriage…and losing. So when he realizes the “man” opposite him has entered the chess tournament under false pretenses, he’s in the perfect position to extort the little chit. But that’s before the exasperating woman begins to slip beneath his skin, and soon all he can think about is slipping beneath her skirts. But the confounded woman is engaged to someone else, and worse—she’s nothing but a former kitchen maid, just like the one that lured his father into the marriage that ruined the family name. And his ex-wife taught him more than he cared to know about why marriage was the worst kind of checkmate of all…
It’s a bit of a coincidence, Shey. I have been writing a lyric about the moon to fit a composition most of today but never thought of it being stolen – like the ultimate theft. I wish I’d thought of that.
LOL!!! Well, there is a line about Topaz in the book that she……’would steal the moon from the sky because it was pretty.’ I always like to search for the wee image that saves a paragraph of description re a character x
That’s a beautiful line.
Lord George, that’s so kind. Truly. I’m glad you liked it. I sued a quite a lot of moon imagery in this book. There was another bit where I used it to explain the utter hopelessness of Splendor’s eventual situation. It was something about how she felt he would have offered her to the moon to make this other woman jealous, with as much chance of fetching it down from the sky as she had of netting it in a bucket. Moons are good for imagery I reckon. xxxxxx
Well done, Dudes, on this great interview with the kleptomaniac. What a great trait to have in a character although if you got caught back then they sent you to Australia I think.
Yep they did. Topaz wasn’t worried about that. She’d been stealing for the Sisterhood since she was like six. These poor ladies never got the choice to say no. xxxxx
The dudes are taking charge and they’d better watch out for the kleptomaniac! That recipe at Esme’s house still has me hungry though… Maybe steal a bit of that for me?!! 😉
I will get Topaz on the case Christy. She is unlikely to eat it. She likes handing over what she’s nicked, cos once it’s nicked she doesn’t want it. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.
Gosh I was just over on Luanne’s blog writing about kleptomania – it must be in the air!
🙂
Really???? It must be in the air, well and truly. An interesting thing actually. xxx
I agree – of all the complex idiosyncrasies we can have I guess this one is better (less harmful) than some of the others that spring to mind………
…..and you of course endow your kleptomaniac with so much humour – how can we not forgive her? 🙂
Yes it probably is one idiosyncrasies that is less harmful than so many that are downright damaging, Pauline. I had a great aunt who couldn’t help herself that way. Alas, not many people would have her around them, her sisters had to count the contents of their cabinets when she’d gone.
That’s a lovely comment about Topaz. She is a poor thing really. She’s been made to steal since she can remember and now she can stop, she just can’t. She doesn’t know how. But I did enjoy writing her and I am glad you forgive her xxxxxxx
Die Erste Eslarner xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx for the reblog xxxxxxxx
Interview with a Kleptomaniac https://bizmarc.wordpress.com/2017/09/11/interview-with-a-kleptomaniac/ via @EslarnerZeitung
Love Topaz. Wot a gal!
And if you want genius character capture in a single line… Topaz studied the rotting fence posts at the sides of the ditch, as if they were next for pocketing…
Wish I’d said that! (as Oscar Wilde once bemoaned)
Don’t worry Oscar you will! came the sharp reply from James McNeill Whistler
Of course you will Paul, came the Shey retort. If you don’t already xxxx Yir a doll, I am thrilled you love her. Truly that is so kind of you to say so. I said to Lord Zoo that there’s a line about how she’d steal the moon from the sky ifs he could, cos it was pretty and she likes pretty. She’s actually very pretty herself in a gothic way. I actually loved writing her so thank you .xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Awesome…. Including a kleptomaniac among your work is such an intelligent twist. I like the fact that character might have flaws of these kinds. They become more human, and we tend to connect with them better, I think. Plus a kleptomaniac might be a sort of magician, someone with the ability totake the chances and go for it. Quite risky and clever too. Congrats on the guest post. So: You are also a good cook?. Wow. So many talents, my friend. Sending love & best wishes 😀 xx
Lol, I ain’t a good cook. I stick with certain good basic recipes. But I had commented on a post by Robbie Cheadle on the Recipe Hunter and Esme kindly invited me. So knowing my limitations I sent over a character instead. I do often research the period details on food in a particular time for when there’s a scene a t a supper party or Viking feast or whatever, just as basic backdrop. I wills end another character over this week with another recipe from their time. Thank you for this wonderful comment. I write flawed people. I can’t write anything else. And I was saying to someone earlier who emailed m that one of the reasons the hero never twigs he’s got two members of this gang on the run under his roof, is because he is so deeply flawed too. So all these times things are vanishing and reappearing cos the heroine is putting them back, he’s too wrapped up in his private grudges to see. I think flaws are human. Repeating mistakes despite how we swear not to is human. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Excellent to learn more about the psychology behind your characters!. I love what you said at the end. Yes, as we say in Spanish: “Errar es Humano” (To make mistakes is human… The “H” in Spanish is a mute letter, it has no sound. So if you want to reinforce (what the quote says)… you can Just say “Errar es Umano (no H)”, and you´ll be including a mistake, a glorious human mistake. 😀 xx
My thinking when I write every character is always greatest strength, greatest weakness… Plot is nothing to me. I never have one. I only ever wish I could but I can’t. For me people are everything. Let’s face it, we are all gloriously unself aware, and I love trying to touch that as much as I love that beautiful silent ‘H’ in Spanish. xxxxxxxxx
Gorgeous writing and imagery, Shey. It feels effortless. (No hint of the blood, sweat and tantrums!) I just wanna tell BB to hang on to his hat!
He will have it for your special interview. OOOOOHHH. You can tell he is thinking about it. Kate, you are way too kind. Thank you so much. As I batter out my quota today, punching the screen as well as the keyboard, longing to punch the air, I will remember these lovely words xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
No Hamstah Dickens, don’t do it. Not again. Restrain yourself. You’ll never finish your epic if you keep eating it — and your waistline will suffer. Your cheeks will bulge out like…like…great big bulgy things. Phew! Splendor is a brilliant book. Thoroughly enjoyed it 🙂
I tries so hard but Shey AND Silv brought that kleptomaniac here and I had to eat it.
Hamstah Dickens.
PS But I won’t get fat cos I had not written any of it yet.
Cat fifty quid in the post!!!!!!!!!!
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Oh Hamstah! Thank you, Shey xxxxxxxx
Lol…need tah find ti first… xxxxx But will. Les Dickens eats it xxxxxx
lovely style of story telling….. enjoyed it….
Sudhir, how very kind of you. Thank you so much, you have made my day xxxx
Thank you for introducing your famous kleptomaniac. I hope the great unwritten Book of Genius is safe… xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hamstah Dickens has it all in his head, I’m sure…..,xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Thievery you say! Ooh and shopoholics? I’m on it! Oh, and you tellin’ me the dudes are only on page 1 and 2 of their genius manuscript? This is going to be great! LOLLLLLLLL Love you guys! 🙂 xxxxxxxxxx
Dear Debby we were on every page but SHEY ate it.
The poorsome dudes.x
Oh NO!!! I didn’t know Shey has now taken to eating pages? This is not good! Quickly go and hide your manuscripts before she gets hungry again! Hugs you little ones! ❤ xxxxxx
Someone needs to rescue us. She’s awful
Sob sob sob…….
Put that in your green hat and smoke it! oxo
Lol. They were in cheeky mode today…..
As if today is different than the last…!😜🤣😝😘
I know…LOL!!!!!! Blue snow the day they are nice. x
Shey, a classic!! 😀😀 Your hamsters are on form and hey, I hope their hats don’t get stolen!! 😀 I can’t help but like Topaz…great character, witty and wileful ways. Great post!
Topaz has had quite a life really and has reached the point where she just steals everything causing utter mayhem for Splendor. I fear she may well steal their hats which will mean a ton of groaning next post. Thrilled you enjoyed Annika. Have a great weekend xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
One more book to read on my list, then it’s onto Splendor! I’m sure that those furry
kleptomaniacal dudes feel the greatest of affinity with certain of your characters, Shey. As for chess, they would most likely chew on the pieces before they ever lined them up for play! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sarah, you are a darling, seriously. I get all nervous now. Having a giggle here though re the dudes and chess. Yes, I’d really like to see Stillmore play them cos he can’t stand to lose. he does this thing with his pocket watch when he’s losing. I have this vision of him looking up again and they have just eaten the piece s and are sitting there staring back. I should bring him along for a game with them xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Afterwards you would be able to say to him, “Perhaps next time you complain about having a female chess opponent, you should remind yourself how much worse it is to play greedy rodents!” xxxxxxxxxxxxx
LOL. I am thinking of doing it actually. Yeah. I can just see the dudes staring him down.’ Chess piece? What chess piece?’
Die Erste xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx for the reblog
Interview with a Kleptomaniac | shehanne moore https://bizmarc.wordpress.com/2017/09/15/interview-with-a-kleptomaniac-shehanne-moore/ via @EslarnerZeitung
Cool! Heading over to the recipe page…
The Recipe hunter is a great blog, seriously. I’ve picked up a few nice ones there xxxxxxx
Also Esme is very keen for folks to post ……. xxxxx
I can’t wait to hear more about these literary hamsters of Edinburgh! xxxxxx
Dearest Jean, they are very literary…just like us.
Love from
the dudes x
Plz one wish for my baby brother mam…plz wish him happy birthday on my blog post comment section…thank u❤
It’s done xxxx
So sweet of you…love you😘
Love you back. You’re a great sister x
I’m so late again!! Which must mean all the good pickins is gone!! Love the line about the moon too. and the vernacular!! what great characters! Love!!! btw, I’ve been having connectivity issues out here so until it is resolved I’m a bit hit and miss!! Good to visit your wild wonderfulness and thanks for your visit too!!
Your new post is gorgeous. A fair treat for the eyes. I loved it. There is a line in Splendor about Topaz how she’d steal the moon from the sky if she could because it was pretty. I loved writing her. All she does is go round nicking and Splendor is aye putting it all back. Fortunately Stillmore is too wrapped up in himself to clock it.
We have net probs a lot. Last week they just routinely did some maintenance for hours on end. SO know how you feel. But lovely lovely to see you xxxxxxxx,
hopefully things will get back to normal for me soon!! hugs!!
Lol…not if your internet is anything like mine… Saying no more….xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hello smexy
Hello my darling, how are you? Probably busy as always xxxxxx I hope you have a lovely weekend x
Very cool, Dear Shey –
Chuckles
“I’m putting the lid on my ball.”
I hadn’t even realized that was possible! lol.
I focused in here, “As Topaz studied the rotting fence posts at the sides of the ditch, as if they were next for pocketing, Splendor fought to bite her tongue. Topaz had never stopped.”
This is a character who doesn’t have any barriers. It’s intriguing to get to know your characters, and….. food?! I love that you let your characters travel 🙂 oh goodness and to eat, too!
Happy Sunday Shey…
Lol re the ball…I don’t know it is… LOL… I am afraid not many of my characters have barriers–alas. I can’t think who they take that off of. Topaz just goes round lifting everything. She is completely out of control. Splendor spends half the time putting things back. You are a darling saying it’s intriguing getting to know them. And the food? I was asked to come by that blog and I don’t consider myself any match for real cooks but I thought that if I was able to keep the recipes to the periods and places the books are set in, I could send along a character with a recipe and a wee bit kind of food history of that time.
Lovely to see you and may your week be full of best sunshine my special Ka.
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Oh, and the armed hamsters…. ! 😀 Squeeeee!
They ain’t gonna get stolen. But would anyone want to steal them?