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Being a certain kind of author is interesting in terms of the reaction you get. You can see people think you must have  a mind like a sewer and the sex life to match. Fury’s rules…where did I get them? Now release day  finally looms and my own ebook advance copy pinged into my inbox on Wednesday there, Mr Shey is worried. So here and now I am going to set the record straight…about the writing. C’mon anything else is strictly personal. Also, if I wanted to be crude I’d have used a different choice in the title when it came to the word cat. 

Let me quote you this…

  • Erotic Romance: stories written about the development of a romantic relationship through sexual interaction. The sex is an inherent part of the story, character growth, and relationship development, and couldn’t be removed without damaging the storyline. Happily Ever After is a requirement  to be an erotic romance.

So… clamped.  As in meaning shhhed. Look this is Scotland, not Fifty Shades. Did Mr Shey’s recent low-down on the pitfalls of living with an erotic romance writer not show how tame it all is really. Especially when it comes down to the matter of broccoli soup and  mushy peas.

Okay. Phew. Got that out the way. Today I am going to do as promised weeks ago regarding the ginger cat. For those of you who do not know about the ginger cat, let me explain.  The ginger cat features in that bit before the film starts at your friendly local multiplex, where he dances about the screen doing all sorts for the benefit of the hard of hearing and the visually impaired.  He is the one I said to my daughters just imagine and they said they were not taking me out again.

Putting  their intention to disown me aside, let’s just consider for a moment Last Tango in Paris.

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 Or to continue the domestic imagery, crockery  flying  as Jack and Jess get to it–sorry to keep quoting my hero, Flint–on the kitchen table in The Postman Always Rings Twice. Talking tables we also have  When Harry Met Sally when Meg Ryan did that impersonation while sitting at one.

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Harry looking surprised he wasn’t responsible himself. Also let’s sound it out for Julie and Donald in Don’t Look Now. I don’t know about anyone else. Forget the actors and actresses,  I have been seriously worried about how you would script some of these scenes for  the visually impaired.  

And so ginger moggie wants to give you his own low down on his top screen sex scenes.

Before you start salivating, I should warn you Ginge isn’t  like that really, as some may know.

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No. Ginge’s scenes are those that spare the commentator’s blushes by shutting the bedroom door, or moving to fade–sorry about that– or in this case suffice with a hand on a window… A sort of less is more. Still hot though.

hand Okay, so it’s not all move to fade in Titanic, it’s still pretty closed– car door closed sex anyway. That hand goes up on the window and we all know what’s going on. Hell. Just look at the steam will you? Enough to melt bergs.

Long Susan and Homer Jackson- Ripper Street.

Now you’re going has Ginge lost it? Completely. There is not a single sex scene between Long and Homer. Not in any one of the eight episodes. Well, that’s just it isn’t it? They don’t have any but you know fine that when they once did– as episode seven reveals –it was so special, that short time they were together he would die for her. And that’s what haunts their  relationship    

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From Here to Eternity 

Debs and Burt getting to it in the rolling waves. All these waves. All that lather.   Defo no doubt someone should chuck a bucket to cool them down.  

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 Braveheart

Well, despite sounding Spaneesh, Ginge is a Scots cat, so of course Ginge found  the wedding night scene sexy, especially given how bloody cold it probably was.You can just hear the commentary, now Wallace freezes his balls off. Although her teeth are chattering, Murren tries to look pleased about it. Could he not have found somewhere indoors at least?  The man fought the English…how is that beyond him?

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 Gone with the Wind

Okay. So the staircase scene when Rhett decides enough is enough and he’s having her up them stairs–how did the Hays office allow it, he probably kept one foot on the bedroom floor —  is sexy.

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 ….enough to inspire the movie poster. I think the commentator would have more fun describing the good time Scarlett’s had of it, the next day though. Ginge agrees. She’s purring.  Scarlett not Ginge for goodness sake

 Ghost.

Okay Ginge  is just gonna show the pic.

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After all what is they say about pics being worth a thousand words? 

The Terminator

As for Sarah and Kyle loving a lifetime’s worth in one night..Sarah Connor, I came across time for you stuff… Do we need any more? Like the commentator going she doesn’t think she’s any mother of the future? termy2

Cold Mountain

All these years of waiting and like Terminator a one night..fuling.(Keeping this decent ). Maybe he never came across time for her but he came across America. Nuff said. 

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Kate and Sawyer Lost

In broad daylight, in a cage, cos he’s maybe not going to get out it alive.? Visual commentor trying to explain…and Jack getting to see it courtesy of Ben on the security camera. Saying no more. Except as it cut to fade, what a scene. 

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The English Patient

 After having a bath with etc etc..

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Ralph sews the dress he got a bit  rough wih……..

Now Ginge knows you must have some of your own. So please feel free to let him know. It’s what comments are for.Visual commentary is very weclome. Could be my next blog- providing I don’t get arrested the stuff I googled here….