I could be speaking here of a neighbor I only see once a year although we live two doors apart – always just before Christmas. We get together over wine and nibbles and bemoan the silly season. Why? Why do we do it, she asked this year. Not get together. God no, it’s almost like a film and we’ve done it for years. No. Suffer the Christmas onslaught. The writing of cards. Yuck. The shopping for presents. Yuck. The whole damn thing really. I said I do it for the day I might not. I must have been feeling very reflective. Either that or had a lot of wine. Probably I had had a lot of wine.
But no, I am speaking of New Year Resolutions. Yes. Last year I made several. To swear less. To drink less. To be less gung-ho on mountains. To stop getting into scrapes. To get my romance book contracted. Did I keep them. Is Arboard the patron saint of sandwiches? Well I did a romance book contracted. But as it was one I hadn’t even written I don’t know that counts.
As for getting into scrapes, what was I meant to do when the taxi turned up two seats short to go to the Hogmanay dinner dance? Get in the boot and travel with the younger daughter’s boyfriend beneath the noses of all the waiting police cars, or wait another hour till it did a round trip? I mean it was almost as sensational as the year before when I took our ‘same time next year’ party into the wrong dance and we managed several rounds of free drinks and canapés before anyone whispered none of our names were on the table lists.
Although I must admit that the taxi ride was the only sensational thing. ‘What dae ye mean play something else?’ the band master took issue with the other half after we delegated him to go complain that we were all getting a little tired of the Dashing White Sergeant played ten times in a row, proceeded five times by Strip the Willow. A very strange Scottish custom to be sure. ‘We’re a ceilidh band. We played a Virginny reel a moment ago and naebody danced.’ Which sort of summed it up really. Certainly we didn’t dance largely because the last time I did a Virginia reel, the other half danced up the hall and right out the swing door, leaving me to pretend he was there. It certainly never happened to Scarlett O’Hara I tell you.
Anyway what it all means is I can make all these resolutions again, plus a few more. Who knows if I will keep them. Happy New Year to you all. May your resolutions be not too many or too strenuous and as we say here in Scotland, lang may yer lum reek. And may you avoid this awful looking stuff.
For your own poison.
And may I see you again same time, next year.